Where’s The Beef? Butler’s Now a Posh Mag Living Lad!
Posted on April 1st, 2010 at 1:47 pm by Sean Borg
What’s happened to the beefy and brawny Gerard Butler we all know and love, eh?
A copy of next month’s Architectural Digest has just landed on my desk with none other than beefcake Buts’ himself, gracing its glorious May cover!
Apparently the hot Scot’s new batch’ pad is boasting ‘thirteen-foot-tall mahogany doors’ and a ‘knocker’ that could summon the dead.’ Oo-er, you’ve got a knocker that wakes the dead, eh Gezza? So I’ve heard matey!
When describing the 3,300-square-foot luxurious loft space in Manhattan The Bounty Hunter star says: “I guess I would describe the apartment as bohemian old-world rustic chateau with a taste of baroque.”
Oh lordy, not to sound at all common but what a load of ‘baro-ollocks’ he’s spouting. And since when’s Sir Gerard become so up market, I guess money really CAN buy class, right?
But wait it gets worse; ‘Donatella Butler’, er, that’s Gerry to you, also has a ceiling fresco (ooh) depicting the rape of Ganymede, plaster walls chipped and mottled with age, massive columns supporting limestone lions (vulgar) and crystal chandeliers (very Essex sounding) that cast spidery shadows all over the room… Eek, run!
Don’t get me wrong, I love a ceiling fresco, but the way it’s described here is enough to put one off their scotch eggs and haggis pie for life!
And Gerry babes one more thing, talking of square footage – next time put a pair of socks on please, this is Architectural Digest not Foot Fetish Monthly, I’m sure you’ll have every foot-loving-freak out there signing up to your fan-club probably as quick as this is being read.
And those curled up toes honey… Er, not cute!
